It is only May but I feel like big things have been thrown at me and I am processing things through a very fine sieve, a lot of sifting and searching and very little actually making it through the net.
I get the feeling like I haven’t really nailed this ‘life’ thing, but then nobody really knows much and there aren’t any real grown ups. We are all playing at being adult. And well done to us, because adult isn’t easy*.
So if everyone is just making it up as they go along, then there really isn’t a right way. This led very quickly to – can I think up my own personal way to live my life. What for? For the pursuit of happiness I guess. If there is no right way, then why not make up a really cool way and just do that instead.
So that was the easy part, the hard part was finding out what this ‘really cool way’ is. What really makes you happy? And I mean happy in a big way, not in a bar of Cadbury’s Jelly Poppin’ Candy Shells in your bed with a hot water bottle and a couple of episodes of Hannibal way). So the first hurdle was to define what the goal was, because I am a very linear person, and there is no reason to move forward unless you are moving for a reason – even if it is for the pure joy of moving, we must be aware of it. If not we just maroon ourselves.
I really did not know what the goal was. I love all things beautiful and creative. And for the longest of times I wanted to be artist. I also wanted to be a singer, or a backing dancer and choreographer for Beyonce. I still dream about the latter two, and the former, well it is still something I think might be my goal, and the best way for me to do that would be through illustration.
I was then sent a series of links through a good friend that really crystallised a few things in my mind. My goal – to make a certain sum of money before 40, because that’s a really simple goal to process. To tell you the truth, this was difficult for me, because I have never been the kind of person that thought money should be a goal of life, and I know for a fact that it isn’t. It’s just a clear sign post to aim for so that your brain knows where to go, and can then work out how to get there in a way that suits you. It was this man that made me drill down to the nuts and bolts of it. Because if you yourself couldn’t describe what you want, then how would your super conscious be able to? It would be like swooshing your mouse around, and pressing ctrl + alt + del over and over again when your computer freezes. Lots of conflicting messages that prevent the machine from processing information and solving problems. So streamline the goal and hold it as a constant north in your mind. The superconscious will then be able to take control of the steering.
That night (yesterday) I went to bed, and I held this thought in my mind, in a relaxed and happy way. I have never meditated, but if I knew how to, this is what I would have done. I was waiting for my super conscious to kick in and give me a solution of how to get to this money sign post, and while my mind did its usual meanderings, it stumbled upon blogging. Why blogging? I guess because what I want to achieve is to make some impact on the world, and I want that impact to be enjoyed and respected. And I wouldn’t get that just through a small scale free lance illustrator business. And I wouldn’t get that through working in Account Management in an advertising agency, or as a writer, or a dancer, or any of these things that partially define me. I could only get there if me as a whole gave a unique service to the world that no one else could. For me, there couldn’t be just one thing that leads me to that goal, it has to be everything that I am. And this is the only way I can think of doing it.
OK – here’s where the sceptics can enjoy themselves. Because when my mind touched upon blogging, there was honestly a flash of light. Don’t get me wrong, it could have been the neighbour switching off the kitchen lights before going to bed, but I didn’t have a choice but to act on it, if not I could potentially be ignoring the one sign from my super conscious that would get me on track to that goal.
So this is where we are today. Let’s see where we get to tomorrow…
*NB: There are some people that seem to have been born grown up though, I have no idea what life is like for you, but you certainly make it look easy, bravo.Advertisements